He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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