woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
