I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
