im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
