laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
