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i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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