Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
