Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize