If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
