i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
