What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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