Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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