I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's shark week go big or go home
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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