I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
