At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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