worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
