Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
