i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
