But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
