goodnight i made you a song goodbye
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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