Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
