Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
