New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
