you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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