The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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