I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
