I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
