I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
