i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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