their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
