.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
