she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize