It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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