Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
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There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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