i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
