singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
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Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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