u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Let's get the cat blown out
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
