I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
