I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
