some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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