I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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