Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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