She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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