I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize