i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
