one two three fourrrrnication!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
