my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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