i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she pinky promised me she was 18
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
