3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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