i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
