I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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