Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
