Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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