My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
