I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
