google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
