My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
