is your mom at the bar?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
