i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
