OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
