I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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